Drunks are bad. So are talking parents. And teenagers taking group pictures during your Fraidy Cat Rabbit routine.
I am a 28-year-old employee working in an IT office. I study magic to meet and impress girls. I’ve grown a beard like you, so I’d look like an authentic magician.
I frequent bars and nightclubs. I perform the Ambitious Card routine to whoever is interested in watching. But chicks are often unimpressed with my magic. Can you recommend the best magic tricks to perform, so I can pick up girls easily?
Hi Boy Lothario,
You are only 28-years old and you already have defective ears. You are hearing wrong things.
I’m not a Casanova, secret, open or whatever.
I am a magician in the Philippines with the gift of seduction. Hundreds of years ago, ancient prophets prophesied about me.
In the ancient manuscript The End of Days Before the Apocalypse, Chapter 58 verses 16 through 19, the prophet Sed Uction of Timbuktu writes: “Lo and behold, get down on your knees, for on the seventh sabbath of the season of durians, a magical love doctor will rise from the east and teach all ye people the art of love and attraction, spreading passion and pleasure, so that ye shall be forgiven of herpes and spared from Zika virus.”
The prophet Sed Uction is referring to me as the love guru of the pre-Apocalyptic times.
Let me give you the first lesson. Never use magic tricks to pick up girls.
Most girls don’t like magic tricks, especially card tricks. Unless you card has words like Visa or Mastercard on it, forget about performing card tricks to girls.
It’s not important to grow a beard. Grow a brain instead. That way you will understand that magic is entertainment.
Magic is not a seduction technique.
Perform magic to entertain your audience. If girls melt after seeing your magic tricks, consider that as a bonus.
But don’t make that the goal of your show. It’s goal is to entertain the audience, not find girls to go.
I suspect you have a one-gigabyte brain and a 250-gigabyte reproductive organ. You may find the lessons I teach difficult to digest.
Mr. Humble wrote a letter yesterday asking why some magicians appear boastful.
To Mr. Humble, here are three reasons that drive magicians into bragging and displays of boastfulness:
1) They assume a cocky attitude to compensate for their lack of confidence. Yes, most beginning magicians, being as green as green mangoes, lack confidence. They need weeks, maybe months or years in the trenches before they become self-assured.
They are like airline pilots. They need to rack up flight-time to hone their skills. In the meantime, they fake their confidence. They wrap themselves up in bluster when performing magic.
I’m referring to the magicians, not the pilots.
Hi Mr. Humble,
I’ve read your question and I’ve kept my cool.
Isn’t that cool? Me keeping my cool after reading your un-cool question?
I stumbled upon it when my audiences claimed that, because I can make them laugh, I’m a comedian.
I’m not. Honest.
In real life, I’m as contemplative as a Tibetian monk.
My wife and children think listening to my jokes is torture. Every time I attempt to tell them a joke, they pray the rosary.
And they don’t even know how to pray it.
Stunning pictures and videos aside, I judge a photographer’s professionalism neither by his skills. Nor by his equipment. Nor by his looks.
I judge him by his inconspicuous presence.
When a skilful photographer covers an event, he is discreet. Low key. And unobtrusive.
He does not hinder the proceedings. He does not obstruct views.
People hardly notice he is there. He works quietly. Without fanfare.
He is invisible.
The good news is, this generation reads and writes more often than their grandparents.
The Internet and the social media has ushered in an era of large information consumption. People today consume them mostly by reading.
The bad news is, today’s reading materials pale in comparison with the literature of the past.
The modern society’s epidemic of short attention span has given way to easy-to-read materials. Which may be good to please the world’s need for instant gratification. Unfortunately, these easy reads lack the soaring prose of Wuthering Heights or Moby Dick.
But who cares? The young readers today may not even have heard of those titles. Some may think Wuthering Heights is in Ayala, Alabang, and that Moby Dick is a sex maniac.
In today’s language, sex and maniac come to mind when you use the word dick. I don’t know why, but they do.
I love languages. One of my pretentious goals in life is to learn at least five languages. But I’m a slow learner for learning foreign tongues.
I have spent months studying Japanese. Until now, all I can show for my efforts is a few phrases I have memorized from a Japanese handbook. Haven’t I told you I’m a slow learner?
So here’s my brush with instant Chinese language on Chinese New Year.
Sir Leodini, how are things going? I always do my color changing deck routine in my shows—a green to blue deck. When it turns to blue the audience are amazed but then they usually challenge me to turn it back to green, and we all know that, that’s not easy to do. I just tell them a joke about that deck.
Sir, can you help me construct a joke about my color changing deck routine? A joke that will surely make them laugh out loud?
Thank you so much, sir, thank you…
Joker Went Wild