From my experience, Christmas parties come in two types. One, the family Christmas parties attended by parents and their children. And two, the all-employee, all-adult Christmas parties.
If you are like me, you will find the second type of Christmas party more fun to perform at.
Fortunately, you are not like me
Employees, especially factory workers, love to close the year with a fun activity. Having just received their Christmas bonuses, they attend Christmas parties with one singular intention: to have fun.
The flow of beer and wine always assures the magician has an enthusiastic audience. The enthusiasm sometimes borders on being rowdy. If it were not for the senior officers in the audience, the audience can be a little rough, too.
Here are the predictable parts of the usual program of a Christmas party:
- The booker will give you an early call time, say, 6:30 pm.
- They will put you on the stage around 10 pm.
- They serve a late dinner that seems to go on forever.
- Raffles (you can judge how well the company did during the year by the prizes it puts up for grabs.)
- Employees amateur hour. (Each department presents a Christmas-themed dance or skit that always brings the house down.)
- Gay emcees who sing, dance and drop insult, toilet and sex jokes. Everybody laps up the jokes, especially the gross ones.
- A select number of employees receive awards. Some for being the best, the most productive, and the most whatever else.
- Speeches from the CEOs and company officers. The theme is always about wok values, unity, teamwork, being a family.
- Food seems always to come from the same menu. After the fourth party, I and my assistants had to be intravenously fed to partake of the dinner served.
- Selfies and group picture-taking all night.
- Wine and beer flow as if from a busted faucet.
- Exchange gifts.
- Dance, dance, dance galore. Cha-cha, disco, hip hop, rain dance, whatever… I’ve been waiting to see the performance of tinikling or singkil, but no luck this year.
- Parlor games.
- A singer or a band.
- And then out of this abundance of entertainment, the magician performs. He’s got to be unsinkable, lest the other parts of the program make him look pathetic.