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shutupDear Leodini,

Yesterday I performed magic at a boy’s seventh birthday party. I kept forgetting my script and the flow of my tricks, because the kids were super noisy. They were chattering non-stop. They kept claiming they had seen my tricks before.  They shouted the methods of the tricks.

Help me please.  Is there a kid-friendly way to say “shut up” while I’m performing?


Mr. Deaf


talkingchildren5Hi Mr. Deaf, first, there’s no friendly way to tell children to shut up.

You may use variants of the term like “you swine.” Or “you little maggots.” Or “you worthless bag of filth.” Or “you’re all putrid mass of walking vomit.”

They all mean shut-up. But to those making the noise, these terms are not friendly.

I wrote about it before, and I will write it again. Shut-up by any name is still shut-up.

Second, practice your show more, so you won’t forget your script.

Third, rehearse your routines, so you won’t get lost in the labyrinth of your act.

A well-rehearsed magician will not forget his lines. Or the flow of his routine even if a jumbo jet roars overhead.

Fourth, why would you want to shut up the kids?

talkingchildren7I wouldn’t. I created my shows with a single-minded purpose—to get enthusiastic (yes, noisy) reactions.

It’s uplifting for you spirit as a performer if the children are clapping, laughing, screaming, shouting, shrieking, and talking.  It is deflating to your ego if they are silent.

You are performing at a birthday party, not praying a novena inside a cathedral, remember?

Stay magical,