That explains why I know that, outside of my magic, I’m a bore.
My wife finds me a boring conversationalist. So do my five children, who seldom talk to me except to say “huh?”, “uhuh,” and “cool.” My consolation is that they sometimes find what I say cool.
My neighbors find me a bore, too. So do our three dogs who, like my children, don’t talk to me that much.
Most of my friends in magic find me a bore. They don’t listen to me when I tell them how not to bore their audience. They ignore me when I tell them that kilometric magic shows are boring. They are bored listening to me telling them how not to be a bore.
In the Philippines, 99.99 percent of Filipinos find me boring. The other .01 percent is me, the only person in this country who is not bored with me.
Why does everybody find me a boring conversationalist?
In contrast, most people in the country love to talk about politicians, their peccadilloes, the money they stole from the government, their preening on television, and their supposed-to-be-bleeding-hearts for the poor.
Additionally, most people love to discuss the lives of movies stars, their love teams, wardrobes, and glamorous and affluent lifestyles.
I find those topics flavorless. The rest of the country, though, are preoccupied with yakking about them.
You see, a great number of Filipinos find talking about other people stimulating. I’m at the opposite end of the conversation scale. I love to talk about ideas. That explains why, when I talk about, say, the God Particle or the Big Bang Theory, people are promptly turned off and reduced to tears by boredom.
The only great thing going for me is that I know how to produce a rabbit from a mysterious box. I have made countless birthday children smile and shriek with excitement each time I do that. They think Leodini is entertaining.
I should start a fan club one day and list all those happy children as members.
Magic is entertaining by itself, so if you are a magician, you need not talk about people. Just talk about ideas.
Talking about ideas is more entertaining. Promise. Swear to God. It can make you a better entertainer, too, even if people find you boring in real life.
However, should you find my magic equally boring, then I’m a hopeless case.