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Hi Leodini,

I’m not really a magician, but I need money fast. I thought I could earn some by performing magic, starting five days from now at the seventh birthday party of my friend’s son.

Tell me, how can I become a good magician in five days?

Please answer me promptly. I’m in a rush.

Yours truly,

The Amazing Flash

PhotobucketHi The Amazing Flash,

Your short-term goal will upset many magicians in the Philippines. You may even upset magicians in other parts of the world.

In this fast-and-furious era, I can understand your need to get things done quickly. This world has turned into instant anything. You need something to eat? There’s instant mami. You need to drink coffee? There’s instant coffee. You need to borrow money? There’s someone who could give you an instant loan.

So now that you need a cash cow, you thought you could, by magic, become an instant magician with an instant profession to give you instant income.

Magicians will chide you for that. They’ll walk all over you and rake you over the coals for your presumptuousness.

PhotobucketIn other fields of performing arts, say, singing, instant artists don’t fare as well. Neighbors will get up in arms when you showcase your non-singing talent through a karaoke machine in the middle of the night. I’ve read news about wannabes being shot inside karaoke bars by irate customers who could not stand hearing songs being butchered and mangled by impertinent instant singers.

You are lucky you choose magic as the endeavor you want to be flippant with. Magicians are a gentle lot. When you upset them, they’ll just turn you into a rabbit or prick your voodoo doll with pins. In other performing arts, the least you can expect is be mauled.

Yes, you can become a magician in five days. You can even become a magician in one. If you want me to exaggerate, like some magic sellers, you can become a magician just minutes after buying a Change Bag. No need to practice. No skills required. All you need to know is the secret, and off you can go performing live and amazing audiences.

But will you become a good magician in five days? Someone who can entertain people well enough to deserve being paid?

I don’t think so.

While there might be easy-to-learn magic, performing them as entertainment worthy of people’s money to watch takes longer than five days to learn. Disappointing though it may be to you, there’s no magic formula for turning one into an instant magician.

Entertaining magic is a lifelong endeavor. You can grow old studying it, learning it, and performing it, yet you may never get to the point where you can claim you’ve learned it all.

See, I’m profound today.

PhotobucketSpeaking of lifelong endeavor, I have an advice for you that is worth a bar of gold. Don’t grow old. Grow camote instead.

Stay magical,