I heard you are one of the top magicians in the country. I know you can help me in reaching a decision.
I have a neighbor who is selling me a large python. It measures six meters and weighs 100 kilos.
My neighbor said pythons are excellent production items in my show. While I agree that the appearance of a large snake can make my show spectacular, I wonder if it is safe to keep as a pet. I have little children in the house, and several small animals (dogs, cats, etc.).
Please help me decide…
Dear Mr. Indecisive,
What you heard is wrong. I’m not one of the top magicians in the country. I’m the best—according to my delusions.
Delusional or not, I can help you arrive at a decision.
If you want to start keeping a python, do it while it is still small. At least, when it grows to its adult size and becomes capable of swallowing kids alive, it’s already domesticated.
Getting an adult, wild, undomesticated, untrained python to live in your house may be a bad move. You may treat it as part of the family, but it will always have another idea, like treating your family as meal.
Because it constricts its prey, it kills silently, without as much as a whimper from its helpless victim. When one morning you wake up and can’t find where your dog, cat or baby is, you know where to find it.
A trained python, however, is generally safe to keep. I have magician friends who use large snakes in their shows. They sleep with them on the same bed every night without being attacked. Of course, they have to feed it regularly with live chicken. The idea is to keep the snake full all the time to demotivate it from attacking people.