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PhotobucketDear Leodini,

I’ve seen many magicians in the Philippines perform the mouth coil trick.  While I like performing it myself, some well-meaning magicians had advised me against it.  They say putting things in the mouth would make me look like a slob. They say doing so is gross.  Some even claim that type of magic is bad for children, who may imitate the magician and put things in their mouths also.

I have read somewhere that you advocate putting objects in the mouth.  Don’t you care about children being influenced by such performances? I have this psychic feeling you are not an expert in children and child rearing. I even suspect you are not a father.

Please enlighten me…

Yours truly,

Hygiene Freak


Hi Hygiene Freak,

I hate to say this, but your psychic powers are not working well today.

Of course, I’m a father.  I have no intention of switching roles with my wife and become a mother.

Over the years, I’ve met so many children that I feel very ancient.  My wife and I have descended from rabbits.  We produce kids almost once every year.  We have five in all.  Of course, I meet my children every day. I have not abandoned them in the forest in the hope of being adopted by a fairy.

Having five children, I feel like I’m an expert in the subject of daddying (if there’s such a word). In fact I’m thinking of bestowing upon myself the title Daddy Guru (or Guru Daddy, whichever sounds more impressive), because nobody has thought of giving the title to me.  I’m a do-it-yourselfer, your know.

Anyway, if you have questions about how to become a good, better or best daddy, just post them here. I’m going to write my answers as soon as I figure out what about daddying confounds you. That means you have to sit for a while and stew on you chair, because I have a slow brain.  I don’t pretend to know all the answers, but if I’m stumped, there’s always Google to help.

Having five children qualifies me as an expert on children (I’m bragging here, and I’m aware of that), child-rearing and putting things in the mouth to entertain kids.

Let me tell you a little secret: “Children putting something in their mouths” is a half-fallacious statement advocated by magicians who don’t have five children like me.

PhotobucketFor heaven’s sake, don’t believe in this drivel.  Older children (4 to 10) don’t put things in their mouths.  They shove them to my face, if they don’t like my face, which is often the case. But they don’t put objects in their mouths.

Babies and toddlers, on the other hand, do put things in their mouths. The family psychologist tells me that’s how babies learn the world.  First, they hold a thing in their hands, turn it around several times, and put that confounding thing in their mouths as the ultimate laboratory test.

I don’t perform for babies and toddlers, so I don’t really worry about the possibility of their putting things in their mouths and gagging after watching me. I have performed razor blade swallowing and needle swallowing, and to date, I have not one toddler follow my example.

I have put vegetables in my mouth in front of my five children.  Not one of them had imitated my eating habit, even though I often treat them to a fire-and-brimstone sermon.  Instead, they love to stuff their mouths with hamburgers, pizzas, junk foods, value meals—things I have told them not to eat plenty of. I guess eating too much of these foodstuffs not only has made them deaf but also calcified their brains.

Here’s the bottom line: I don’t advocate putting things in the mouth when performing magic. I don’t have any advocacy except to make magic performances entertaining.

As a magician in the Philippines, your goal is to entertain people.  If you put things in the mouth and entertain people, then by all means go ahead and put stuffs in your mouth.  However, if doing so grosses people out, perform something else—like Needle Thru Arm.

Stay magical,